i suppose it was my fault
for bearing my soul out
to a stranger over text.
for bearing my soul out
to a stranger over text.
i guess i did that
because i was depressed,
which i guess is my fault too.
because i was depressed,
which i guess is my fault too.
if you ask me what
i want to do to you one more time, i swear.
i want to do to you one more time, i swear.
we have the same fucking conversations
over and over and over and over...
over and over and over and over...
you're a guy and like dom women.
it's not that fucking radical!
and no – me pretending to be dom
is not some profound revelation of who i am.
it's not that fucking radical!
and no – me pretending to be dom
is not some profound revelation of who i am.
it is my lithium not working,
and me trying to do anything
to keep myself from being bored and dying.
and me trying to do anything
to keep myself from being bored and dying.
i think i knew deep down
that you figured out what i was looking for
and created a bunch of fake accounts,
so that i was talking to the same person
over and over and over.
that you figured out what i was looking for
and created a bunch of fake accounts,
so that i was talking to the same person
over and over and over.
it's sad, isn't it?
that i was so low.
that i was so low.
i didn't really give a shit who i was talking to.
Context:
This is about the embarrassment I felt for having multiple texting relationships where I bore my heart out to strangers and also engaged in sexual banter and different kinks with them. I feel stupid for trusting something vulnerable to people I didn't really know and who could have been catfishing me. I had several people talk to me one after another who were all similar to one another in how they looked and talked, and I think it was probably the same person catfishing me over and over. I pretended it wasn't the case, because I was desperate for connection. I still feel embarrassed about that. But that's where I was at emotionally.
To the Person This Is About:
I hope you find a relationship that fulfills what you’re looking for, because it seems like that’s something you deeply want. In a strange way, I also want to thank you for being there for me during a really dark time, even if most of our conversations were about sex.
