i suppose it was my fault
for bearing my soul out
to a stranger over text.
for bearing my soul out
to a stranger over text.
i guess i did that
because i was depressed,
which i guess is my fault too.
because i was depressed,
which i guess is my fault too.
if you ask me what
i want to do to you one more time, i swear.
i want to do to you one more time, i swear.
we have the same fucking conversations
over and over and over and over.
over and over and over and over.
you're a guy and like dom women.
it's not that fucking radical!
and no – me pretending to be dom
is not some profound revelation of who i am.
it's not that fucking radical!
and no – me pretending to be dom
is not some profound revelation of who i am.
it is my lithium not working,
and me trying to do anything
to keep myself from being bored and dying.
and me trying to do anything
to keep myself from being bored and dying.
i think i knew deep down
that you figured out what i was looking for
and created a bunch of fake accounts
so i was talking to the same person
over and over and over.
that you figured out what i was looking for
and created a bunch of fake accounts
so i was talking to the same person
over and over and over.
it's sad, isn't it?
that i was so low.
that i was so low.
i didn't give a shit who i was talking to.
Context:
This is about the embarrassment I felt for having multiple texting relationships where I bore my heart out to strangers and also engaged in sexual banter and different kinks. I feel stupid for trusting something vulnerable to people who I never actually talked to and who could have been catfishing me. I had several people talk to me one after another who were all similar to one another in how they looked and talked, and I think it was the same person catfishing me over and over. I pretended it wasn't the case, because I was really desperate for connection. I still feel embarrassed about that. But that's where I was at emotionally.
